Sugar Daddy Drama: 9 Reasons Why Young Ladies Love Older Men

The first time an Older man asked me out on a date, I was twenty-two, a bit taken aback but very flattered. Like me, most young girls find it pleasing that a man can love her for just being who she is, young, beautiful and full of life. Sometimes it's the way they look at you, like you are a rare discovery in the universe that they were so lucky to find. Then there are the outing invites, to high end restaurants, sophisticated plays, elite sports clubs and other noteworthy events. It feels good to be adored this way. Everybody wants a relationship where they do not have to struggle for at least the basics in life and older men have a way of letting a lady know they have nothing to worry about.

If you ask me in general why younger women love older men, I’d say It’s a socio-cultural norm. Recent research has shown that 85% of heterosexual relationships are between younger women and older men. Now, I know there is an army of people waiting to tell me that age doesn't matter when it comes to love and I could agree with that based on one undeniable factor you'd find out as you keep reading.

I cannot blame anyone for suspecting younger ladies who decide to marry men way out of their age range. I mean this is something that appears unusual especially when you consider the fact that the girl from a humble background is young enough to be the man's daughter (the outrage.) I get it, it shouldn't be heard of, let alone paraded online for the world to see right? Anyhow, I'd say cut Regina Daniels Nwoko and Lara Oshiomole some slack, these marriage's happen often and it's not always what you think. Beyond the 'Gold Digger' banter, there are many other reasons why a younger lady would prefer an older man but for now, i'd give you nine,

1. The affection is familiar: In many cases a woman is subconsciously drawn to a man who either reminds her of or treats her as she would have expected her father to. Traits as subtle as eye colour, beard similarities and familiar gestures can be attractive to a woman.
2. Girls mature faster than boys in general. Sometimes a Lady's maternal instincts start to kick in early and she develops an obvious disconnect from the pleasure-seeking traits displayed by her male peers. This can lead to her attraction to older men who seem more stable and ready for commitment.
3. Older men are more put together. They really do not have time for paltry activities like excessive partying, their friends are not constantly coming over to smoke weed and drink alcohol for instance, and they are keen on maintaining hygiene. These seemingly trivial traits can make a woman fall in love.
4.  They have more experience and they are cultured. Older men have learnt so much from previous relationships and this makes them appear more understanding and patient with a new partner.
5.  An older man is often well travelled, with a more sophisticated taste. If a lady goes out with a man and his choices of food, drinks, places to see and openings for opportunities are always mutually beneficial to them, that type of treatment could grow on her.
6.  Believe it or not, there is some science to it. In Freud's Psychoanalysis of sexuality in girls, he discovered that all girls at some point tend to compete with their mothers for the affection of their fathers. This trait could just be what gets triggered when she meets an older man. Because of the wide age gap, she will often try to be worthy or keep up with that love she revered as a child.
7.  Older men hardly beat about the bush, they are clear about their intentions and more often than not, they want an exclusive and committed relationship. This is most women's desire for Love truly.
8. They are usually come of as caring and intentional in the areas of honour and respect. Some Older men have a refined grip on traditional values and this primitive instinct to care, and provide can make a lady go crazy, in a good way of course.
9.  Older men are more concerned about a woman's all-round security and often respond quickly to a woman's needs. And these are all very alluring traits and legitimate too, but as dreamy as all this sounds, here's what I like to call,

The Stunning Reality Of Being With An Older Man (Settle or Move On):

Experience they say, I personally don't think I have to taste everything for myself so most times, I prefer to glean from the stories of other people and hopefully learn a thing or two as I navigate through this maze called life. So that's what I did, first thing I I bumped into was this confession by UK Based Nollywood Actress Timmy K MacNicol, but you can check that out later. Here's my point, while age may not necessarily matter, age-range does matter. The Chances that a twenty three year old lady (and below) would have a long lasting and healthy relationship with say a fifty year old man are very slim. Why? because at that age, she is in her prime! She still has a lot of dreams and expectations for her life. The thrill of adventure makes her eager to experience the world with her partner and while it feels great to be with someone who knows a lot and has a lot, they both stand the risk of having mismatched energies. Where she is excited about a new place for instance, he would most likely have a 'been there, done that' attitude and this can get boring after a while.(I know right? life is not fair) But for a more 'experienced' woman, in her mid or late thirties, the story could be different.

In a Cosmopolitan article I read, different women anonymously gave personal accounts of their experiences with older men. While some expressed Joy and peace in the relationship, others were more or less sour about it. I noticed that the women who decided to be in those relationships from age twenty six and over were happier in their homes, while the ones who worried that the men were too controlling, or forcing them to stay at home and not socialise had gone into the relationship at ages below twenty five. In fact, there was one article about a lady and her man in couples therapy that caught my eye. It starts with this young lady in her early twenties who is tired of dating guys who have roommates and little or no money. She is also at a point in her life where she believes it's time to move on from childish things and grow a family. Fine Daddy on the other hand, had gone through a divorce, spent some years away from the relationship scene and was not particularly hopeful about love anymore. But as fate will have it one beautiful day, they met. Things went from One to Nine for her in a flash, it was magical. Their relationship bloomed and, in a few months, they were married. The end. (I'm kidding) but that's the thing. The fairy tale does not end after the wedding. That was when it actually started.

Life was a honeymoon. Everything seemed great until she entered her 30’s and from then on everything went south. Her plus fifty year old sweetheart wasn’t so super anymore, he was just a man, and an old one at that. She had had her fill of everything about him that once impressed her and expectations were slowly giving way to reality. Even his innocent attempts at care and protection had become off putting. She found herself getting more resentful and bitter in the relationship. The man was not particularly as outgoing as she noticed her peers and their husbands were and it became a tussle for her to show up at gatherings with her ‘’Sugar Daddy''. Being in her mid-thirties, sexual urges had doubled, her husband on the other hand was experiencing a steady decline in that department. Which is perfectly normal for a man his age, but for her, it was trying. Her frustrations according to Dr Rachael Lee Glass, were interpreted in statements like, ‘’He tricked me’’, ‘’He wasn’t who he said he was’’ and so on. The man on the other hand still believed everything was perfect. His intentions had always been pure and he could not understand where the problems were coming. More than anything, he wished things could just go back to how they were in the beginning. Sad story right? But that's the reality. While I hope this beautiful couple was able to sort out their issues and rediscover new reasons to love themselves,

I’d say the solution is fairly simple. Generational gaps are real. Even though there might be rare exceptions, it is better to ‘settle down’ with someone who falls within the maximum range of what I call the Eleven year gap. I personally would only say yes, to a man with whom I share common core values, energy for life and interests. I also believe I have to be comfortable with the stages we are both at in life. Knowing that I can accept that will give me peace as the relationship continues to grow. In the end I think it's important to have a clear understanding of the nature of your commitments and to be honest this goes for anything at all.

But that's just my two cents on the matter. Meanwhile, every time I mused on the term 'Sugar Daddy' (while writing of course), these were the pictures that kept popping up in my mind,

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1. Image Sources: Pulse, Regina Daniels and Falz Instagram