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HE MADE ME HAVE SEX WITH HIM ON THE FIRST DATE

The Reality of a Perfect Date Night ; how we all imagine it vs how i see it .

Two of you having a non-staggered conversation, a strong flow of chemistry, hands touching if possible, deep eye stares, raising sexual tension without using words, then going separate ways to get home and think go how to meet again. Throughout the week texting and calling, reminiscing how the date went, plotting another date but yet your mind fuelled with tension of wanting to make it sooner, at this point your lustfulness sells itself out on a platter of gold, all you can think of are the regrets from not sealing the first date with a worthy cause rather than the waves of goodbye. Both parties playing cool and no one wanting to make the actual move of motioning for a shorter deprivation "let’s make the next date" sooner, rather taking the longer route of proving you want more than just the physical benefits. The week drags and finally it’s another weekend and you are set to meet again , another series of eye stares and touches but this time sexual tension is heightened and one person has to make a move , he leans over the table , his hands touching hers , moves towards her and drops a kiss on her lips , he sits back , at this point she wants more , you can’t give more in a public space , everything becomes uncomfortable and you both start staring awkwardly but smiling as your mind chemistry gets in sync . One person proposes a different arrangement which is usually you two going to a more private space , mostly going home together , you two stand to leave , throughout the trip you two staring and making funny gestures , getting home , one party playing cool , the other party getting apprehensive and wanting to burst out emotions , then silence kicks in , sexual tension escalates , you two start staring , one person gets the courage and makes the move , pulls one to the other , kisses start flying in , romantic hugs start rolling in , words start becoming faint , emotions turn all pure and lustful , at this point all you can think of is how it was worth it waiting all that long , from standing and kissing to moving to the bed and finishing off all that pleasure with a good round of love making , cuddles and sleep . A good date usually ends with sexual thoughts being translated into action and gives room for projection of future dealings. 

Managing first dates have always been a cause for thoughts, expectations usually outweigh reality but in those few cases where the actual reality is greater than what was expected or matches what was expected, the tension of managing the date is always an interesting line of thought. What should you say on a first date? what should you wear? How you should speak or even eat. All these are then most common areas in first dates that are triggers of worry and mostly cause apprehensiveness. Both genders have different routes towards handling dates .

The Man: Men are mostly less worried during date nights as they mostly set the pace, they stay in control and make the moves while the lady watches and follows his guide. This is very relative and mostly dependent on motive or intentions.

A man who is trying to woo a lady into a very serious and committed relationship could also get as apprehensive as the woman especially when the woman seems way out of his league and he feeling he needs to impress her to keep her for longer whereas a man who is just out for fun , who seems financially capable and good looking would be flirtatious even from the first hello, he knows he has nothing to lose so he would frequently make flirtatious and sensual gestures to keep her mind in the loop, that he wants her and he is also having a good time . These are two kinds of men and mostly the kind of men encountered on a daily basis.

The Lady: A woman generally is mostly in a vulnerable state. This sense of vulnerability often leads women into being more apprehensive at first dates because they have more potential issues to worry about. Do I look good enough? What if he’s going to hurt me? Would he find me attractive? These are few worries that run through the mind of an average woman heading out for a first date. There are three kinds of women on a date night, the one who is willing to go home with the guy and have a good time, the one who doesn’t want to so she isn’t perceived as cheap and the third one who isn’t sure of what she wants and would mostly also go home with the gent if he’s a sweet talker with good looks and sophistication.

How to manage these scenarios?

The key to having a good first and second date is communication. How you are able to build chemistry before meeting in person is very paramount and key to the outlook of the date. Chemistry whether sexual or not feeds on memories created, memories built around information shared, this is what makes your first date amazing. Make as much calls and texts as you can, if possibly do video calls, know them to an extent before meeting them. The second variable that influences a good date is you having less expectations or just having average expectations and this is because anything could happen and you don’t want to feel overly disappointed. The third would be “come prepared as anything could happen “you could end up in bed together or be walking out that restaurant door 10 seconds after sighting them. Date nights could be the beginning or the end of future relationships and how they are managed or planned towards determine how they would end up reflecting .

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